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| Folding hands looking at horizon where sea n sky meets |
The thought of being in that city scares me ?terrifies me ?nopes not exactly but it fills me with a shiver ,little depressing mode ,it reminds me of of my success ,my failures ,my dreams that I accomplished and then I lost ,its not easy to face your failures ,
It all started from there –Delhi, since my childhood this place was always on my head ,no other city attracted me ever ,nothing crossed my mind except me being there living my independent life ,the city welcomed me well ,hugged me warmly
those big beautiful flyovers,grand buildings,different ring tones in air,slangs –abuses,pda young crowd, all excited me to full it made me feel very near to my dream, so half of the credit goes to my Destiny and other half to my incompetence in differentiating between real practical life and my dream world ,I screwed it , screwed it big time I realize its wrong to blame the city ,but a usual habit of blaming someone else for my own failure, I have a kind of love –hate relationship with Delhi ..It really made all my dreams come true, professionally, personally, socially but ruined up at last its true every one cant carry success !!!May be I was one of those unfortunate everyone .
Those initial days long travel hours, struggle to get in those crowded suffocating buses ,plucked earphone in ear ,fingers playing with mobile and mind scattering old memories ,at times knitting the dreams of future ,doing SWOT analysis ,dreaming to have perfect life ,forgetting there is nothing known as perfect ,less money more expenses ,lil inferiority complex from colleagues who were not from small town like us ,craze for mac d and haldiram ,the excitement of first dream job, getting all what you need for your ego Pamper ,the priority ,importance, the appreciation the encouragement being famous for good ,and yes promotion and appraisal in your initial days who wont get crazy ??getting selected in all the ad agency I never ever imagined ,the first step in Cheil(Samsung in- house ad agency) was with little proud.
The first client meeting, successful presentation, pitching, reckee at sitarganj , shoots ,getting those gulabari animatics done ,voiceover and scrtunising (at very initial level ) those plastic women commonly known as models ...what not the excitement was on full brim the craze to do it all ,craze to stay at top ,
Evening with friends talking ,discussing, arguing on accounts ,strategies ,ads ,campaigns criticizing boss , ego wars of servicing and creative ,but finally laughing out loud on some funny joke or leg pulling each other ,gyans from devraj ,fighting for franky and eggs ,working late nights in ccd for freelancing work(for which dat bugger never payed), and sipping uncountable coffees ,on weekends outing at saket ,or shopping at lajpat ,or dinner at south x and sometimes after 25th of each month we were left with less money so i and Tanu use to make lame execuses- trying to avoid going outdue to financial pressure ,but still unable to convince our frns ,we had to see right side of menu card to order what we wanna eat (seeing the lowest rate )and looking at each others eye,NOW WHAT !! and tanu cursing me under breath for being easily convinced for going out ha ha ha hilarious .
the comfortable ,non-interfering friends those candid talks covering all” starting from work to pranks ".those night outs ,those small secret trips (JAIPUR the place of birth between tanu and amit 's love ,courtesy devraj and Amita he he he ) confessions with friends,promise of being in touch forever !!!!and pooling money at times even on treat (remember amit !!!!ur treat on u and tanu being a couple and the unexpected bill ha ha ha) mine unforgettable moments
After all this reaching home late with amita facing those jams and crowd with risk taking rani lakshmi bai (amita) and planning to make khichree or settling with maggi with a promise in heart to come home early next day for better meal (which hardly happened)and then sleeping like dead
It was beautiful..i wanted it to stay the way it was !!
But all good things come to an end as they say good things come with an expiry date
Life mounts you to hill of happiness and slides you down with no warning
Probably before giving you real big jerk life pampers you to maximum, you go on swinging to ur glory without realizing the fatal law of gravity when you fall down every thing falls on you
The Sbi ATM at New Delhi Station those initial confusing moments ,hurried decisions special perfume in that red swift ,those loving eyes as if only waiting for me that gear in the car ,which changed my life ,long drives,long conversations,long planning,long confusions,wrong perceptions,….wrong moves and the downfall starts that was swinging low and I cudnt balance well for long so fell down on ground bleeding to hell..its a very difficult experience to walk alone in those lanes where u have walked with some one special,to see those shops where u have shopped like crazy with ,to go 4 those restaurants sitting where u have planned a lot and even waiters know what you are going to order ,facing those traffic jam which made u late before date , then suddenly realise no one is waiting for you now !!!those issues which are no more rel vent to both of u,that bacardi blast party ,Times of india food fest ,MACHHAN at Taj maansingh ,barcos,fu yian ,that bald waiter and pandara road ,meeting few common faces who carry sarcastic smile ,few roads some streets and lanes few songs certain kind of weather ,its not easy to feel someone who was always there is no where !!!!
it all collapsed my personal life my professional life ,my social life …
It was the same city who gave me all what I loved and then snatched it back …those places, those memories make me weak, make me feel like a looser ….
Delhi love you.but cant fight those moments ,you made me strong but in process I lost a lot .you would always remain special .:)thanks 4 everything !!!!
this city for sure makes you think where you were and where you are !!!be cautious and your failure is yours have a heart to accept it ,passing the bucket can only console u ,but wont take u anywhere !!!!
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