Talk with the moon

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Its a subtle weather ,wind is touching my face gently ,disturbing my hair ,the sound of small bells in my duppata is  sounding like windchime and distubing my peaceful late evening ,all this is giving me good feel

 ,but suddenly something happens dark night (though it looks always beautiful and mystic to me ,)sudenlly push me to melanchony mood ,i dont know why and how ,i came happy but how it dragged me where i dint intend to be ..

i am neither happy nor said ,just little serious ,some serious thought process goes on and on and on with no logical connections,thinking about someone not neccesarily mean u miss that name ,i think aboout nothing and at the same time everything , world- weariness,a pessimistic sense of inadequacy, a lot done ,and a more lot not done,unfulfliied promises , unspoken words ,some guilt ,few unanswered questions, some  W questions of my life, few names ….at times few things bring out old memories ,few words bring forward some old incidents ,constant fight with my own conscious ,it gets very difficult when u cant convince yourself ..none of us can go back but I want to still my life rite here nothing more I want ,nothing I wanna loose

                              Eyes get wet ,heart gets heavy and I cry my heart out ..not angry from anyone not even sad but still it feels good. After I cry. I feel fresh rejunivated,strong enough 4 rest of storms of life .i look at moon and feel   with a smile you have seen all,my ups –downs, laughter-cries ,smiles –tears  ,me seeing dreams and then me seeing it broken I  strangely never loose hope still sit to  knit my dream ,silly jilly me !!!but I cant change !!I am not that what it looks like ,something somewhere deap down is broken ..i dont even know what it is

My obsession 4 certain things ,irrespective of write or wrong ..i don’t disturb any one ,I don’t harm anyone then whats wrong in my obsession ,in that makes me happy without hurting anyone let me be obsessed !!!let me be crazy my things would never harm anyone else ...moon looks at me but never say anything.....i wait...asks atleat tell me my answers ,i hate to be lost ...suddenly it rains ..i cry more loud ,more tears flow .....i feel better i end up smiling once again ..told u silly me !!!! good night wanna sleep tight with no dreams !!!and moon continues to look at me while i close my eyes  pretens i have slept actually  with half closed eye i try to see..is moon still watching me :)